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Learning, Growing, and loving

In the handful of years that I’ve been blessed to have as an adult, I have been through countless phases and versions of myself. It might not seem that noticeable to the people around me, but as I sit and reflect on the years of my adulthood, I can see a very obvious and tangible change in my beliefs, and a shift in my personal perspective on the world and even in myself. When I was 18 years old, I was confident that I was mature and knew what was best for me. When I was 19, I could look back in time and realize how inaccurate I was – but now that I’m 19, I certainly know better. I turned 20, 21, 22, and so on and each year I would look back and think the same thing.

As I continue to grow, my ideologies continue to develop, and I am consistently learning more and more about the world and how to better love the people around me.

I believe in God – that He sent His son, Jesus, to carry the weight of all of our sins by hanging on the cross and conquering death. I believe Jesus was resurrected and, through His selfless and sin-less life, God gave us a way that we can be in communion with Him. We were all designed in the image of God. As God’s creation, we are called to love and be loved – but due to the broken nature of the world, we have the freedom to choose any path in our lives. We have the freedom to love, to hate, and to pronounce ourselves as whatever or whoever we want to be.

When we have those abundant freedoms, the choice to love people becomes so much more meaningful. Choosing to love your friend, partner, or family member means significantly more if it’s coming from a place of genuine intentionality and effort.

I’m sure that you have experienced this situation just as I have: feeling like you’re “stuck” tolerating a person that you, by any means of the word, should be loving. Being on either side of that situation is certainly much less than ideal. However, feeling like a person is choosing to show you compassion and patience, and knowing without a shadow of a doubt that you are loved and cherished is something that every person on this earth desires. Having the assurance that someone loves you no matter what you could ever do is a pillar of the foundation of peace.

Loving Abundantly

Despite any of our mistakes, despite any of our flaws, despite any detail or sliver of shame that we hold near to our hearts – Everyone is seen as equal in the eyes of our God. Whether or not you share the same beliefs as I do is completely your decision. Though, I do think the baseline of love is desired by anyone. To be seen exactly as who you are in this exact second, and to be met with nothing but compassion and be called someone’s beloved daughter (or mother, sister, brother, father, friend, co-worker…) is a desire that is found in anyone’s heart.

Emotional pain always seems to be found in the most inconvenient and unfortunate of circumstances. Sometimes it can be caused by actions of a person who should be loving you due to sharing the same DNA, or by someone who you’ve spent years’ worth of time with. Sometimes it can be caused by someone that supposedly shares the same priorities, beliefs, or interests as you. Everyone feels hurt, disappointed, and knocked down sometimes. Pain is not exclusive to one type of person – it is something that is burdening every individual’s life, putting a heavy nuisance on their shoulders.

It’s impossible and unrealistic to think that we can do something to remove the causes of people’s pain. There would be a lot of courtroom-esque conversations happening in the midst of trying to demand so much change. What’s seen as fair and justified by one person can be seen as horribly cruel by the other. Trying to make every person happy would probably make more problems than solutions. The pain would still linger, and the memories would still be branded in our minds.

We crave a perfect world where there is no pain or discomfort – where everyone loves constantly and consistently, and no one would ever harm a soul. Unfortunately, though, that is not the world we live in. It would be outrageous to think that we could fix years and years of pain and discomfort. It is possible, however, to find comfort in someone that helps you lessen the load.

A burden shared is a burden halved.

There’s something overwhelmingly beautiful about confiding in someone that not only loves you wholly, but who also is consistently a shoulder that you can cry on. They see you in your best moments and at your worst. And they still choose to love you always. You don’t have to have a plan to improve your state of mind, or have all the answers to life’s questions. Those kind of people – the ones who love completely and abundantly – will love you no matter what.

I don’t need to have it all put together

When I was younger, I thought I knew what was best for me. As every year passed, I was proven wrong time and time again. I’m sure you relate when I confess: my life as it is at this current moment looks absolutely nothing like how I had once imagined it. I am glad that I didn’t have all the answers back then. I’m sure in a year or two I’ll be looking back to when I wrote this devotional thinking the same thing.

I am glad, however, that I know a God who does know all the answers. He does know what’s best for me. He knows what’s best for all of us – because He created you and I knowing exactly who we’ll be and exactly where we’ll end up. I can rest peacefully knowing that even though I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing or where I should go – and even though sometimes I feel so broken and beaten down that I don’t know where to turn – I am comforted knowing that I can turn to Him. He will guide my steps. He always does.

God is the one who designed every single detail of our world with more intentionality than we could ever wrap our heads around. Who am I to think that the Creator of the universe – the One who breathed life into existence, who created sensical reasoning behind all the science of the earth, and who has so clearly and obviously cared for each and every one of His people – who am I to think that He doesn’t have a plan for my life? Do I know better than He who knows the exact number of grains of sand in the oceans? Of course not. I may be disappointed in this world and by the people in it, but I know that regardless of what comes my way in this life, that I know a God who is above it all. He has it all planned out and under control. And, to make it even better: He loves me more fully than any person on this earth ever could. Our wonderful and all-knowing God would run after me time and time again when I find myself lost.

“…If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray? And if he finds it, truly, I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray.”

Matthew 18:12-13

“What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open country, and go after the one that is lost, until he finds it? And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, ‘Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep that was lost.’ Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.”

Luke 15:4-7

In this chapter of the book of Luke, Jesus is speaking and the people begin to gather around in order to listen. The author specifically notates in verse one that “the tax collectors and sinners were all drawing near to hear him.” The Pharisees, who were widely known for following the strict laws of God, respond by saying, “This man receives sinners and eats with them.” (v. 2)

he will leave the ninety-nine to rescue me

The Pharisees often would scoff at those who did not follow the law that they followed so strictly. This law was rigid, and they were certainly not too merciful to those who did not abide by it. Sinners were looked down upon, and tax collectors were considered thieves. In the eyes of the Pharisees, they looked at them as “lesser than” and didn’t think those people would ever be worthy of communing with God. And their version of God (who they believed to be full of wrath, as opposed to being gracious and merciful as we know Him today) certainly would not welcome and dine with them. They were questioning the validity of Jesus’ words because, in their eyes, their God would never be seen with those people. Their version of God was not welcoming of those who did things wrong.

God made that original law that the Pharisees (and many other people at that time) were trying so hard to follow. No one could ever live up to that law. It would have been impossible. But God loves His people and He wanted to bridge the gap between us. I am sure that if I was alive during that time, I would probably consistently be feeling like I’ve failed or that I was unloved by Him. I make mistakes time and time again. Those Pharisees probably wouldn’t have liked me too much, either.

But this is where that overwhelming and abundant love comes into play again.

God sent His son, Jesus, to take away the weight of all our brokenness. Jesus lived a perfect, sinless life. He abided by the law perfectly and loved every person He met. He sat with those sinners and tax collectors, who typically were tossed aside and looked down upon. Jesus made them feel seen, wanted, and loved. Other people didn’t do that. People continuously prosecuted Jesus and pushed Him to the side, like they would to the “sinners” they spoke ill about. They even sentenced Him to death by hanging. They even made Jesus carry the wooden stakes that He would soon be nailed to.

Jesus breathed His last breath on the cross. Those who knew and loved Him were overwhelmed with grief. Their savior, the Son of God, had died. Except – three days later, Jesus was resurrected. He had defeated death. The separation between mankind and God had finally been mended. Jesus, through the ultimate sacrifice He paid (despite being completely innocent), had bridged the gap. God wanted to commune with us, and Jesus’ life on earth was the cost. Because of His death, we can be with Him for eternity in a place that has no pain, strife, or disappointment. All because of how much He loves us.

overwhelming, never-ending love

How much more deserving are we of the fate that Jesus endured? He was the only person who ever lived His life completely free of sin, and yet He was the one who had to make the sacrifice. Jesus carried the weight of the world on His shoulders, and He did it because He knew it would bring God the glory. In His death, He abolished the law that so many were living by. Grace and mercy came pouring down.

When Jesus rose from the dead, He visited many people who were mourning His death. He greeted them lovingly and reassured them that their God was real and mighty. It was proven by the holes in His hands from where He hung, the empty tomb that He once laid, and by peace that surpasses all understanding. Later in the book of Luke, Jesus meets up with the disciples He spent much of His time with.

“These are my words that I spoke to you while I was still with you, that everything written about me in the Law of Moses and the Prophets and the Psalms must be fulfilled.’ Then he opened their minds to understand the Scriptures, and said to them, ‘Thus it is written, that the Christ should suffer and on the third day rise from the dead, and that repentance for the forgiveness of sins should be proclaimed in his name to all nations, beginning from Jerusalem. You are witnesses of these things. And behold, I am sending the promise of my Father upon you.”

Luke 24:44-49

The forgiveness of sins. Jesus made it possible for us to receive never-ending mercy for what we’ve done wrong. By believing that Jesus died for our sins in order to allow us to have access to God, we receive abundant grace. We have a God who would seek and find us when we’re far away. He is a God who gives us infinite more chances after we fall short. We serve a God who has all the answers, and who loves us infinitely deeper than we could ever fathom. He loves us so much that He won’t let anything stop Him from getting to us – no matter what. That is a gracious God.